kristyk

To hell and back

Did I say hell?  I meant dentist.  Six of the seven had cleanings this morning.  And while it may sound crazy to take all the kids at once, I have found that it is better to suffer for a few hours than to go back and back and back.  Echo is the only one who didn't have something done.  He did, however, get a new toothbrush to play with.  It kept him quiet for most of the appointment.   The bad news is that they all have to go back. 

Mia has to go to the orthadontist in two weeks for braces.  I will be so glad when that is over.  I hate seeing her cover her mouth all the time.  They have been waiting for her baby teeth to fall out.  There was one more left, so they pulled it out today.  We weren't expecting that, so it was a bit of a problem.  Mia is really scared of the dentist.  She started crying when we pulled into the parking lot and didn't stop until we left.  It is hard with her, because she doesn't complain or make a scene.  Tears just roll down her face.  :-(  At least she didn't have any cavities. 

Mica chipped her front tooth, so they are going to try and fix it on her next appointment.  She fell asleep in class and her arm slipped out from under her head.  Her mouth hit the desk and voila! A chip off the corner. If it wasn't her permanent tooth, it would have been really funny. 

Mikal,Bleu, Butterfly and Johnny go back for fillings.  Yuck.  Another unexpected procedure:  they removed Mikal's space maintainer.  She was SOOOO happy!  She hasn't been able to eat candy since she got it in six months ago.

It was Johnny's first time getting xrays.  Last time, he wouldn't sit in the chair because he was scared to be by himself in the room.  What a big boy!

Orange

I haven't taken many pictures lately.  After Mica dropped my camera, it hasn't worked very well.  And I don't have the patience to be fiddly with it most of the time.  But tonight, as we were waiting for Mia to get out of practice, everything was glowing the most beautiful shade of orange.  My favorite color!  So, finally, here are some more pictures.

The Bell Jar

I finished Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar a few days ago.  It was an easy read, but difficult material ~ for me, at least.  I thought she did a very good job of expressing the internal justifications and thought processes that go along with depression.  When you are depressed, it doesn't matter how wrong an idea might be.  Your mind becomes warped and you convince yourself that it must be true ~ that there is absolutely no other alternative.  The world becomes very small and specific.

I sat down and spent two hours writing about my first experience with depression (in the tenth grade).  It was very cathartic.  And also the first piece of writing in years that I was proud of.  When I was almost through, Mike looked over and saw the title.  He asked if I was sure that I wanted to post that to the internet.  You know, all the crazy stalker types would think I was vulnarable.  And someone we know might read it.  The old fear kicked in and I deleted the whole thing.

That is the sad thing about depression.  There is such a stigma attached.  You don't want anyone to know, and this keeps you from getting the help you need.  It is a vicious cycle, a self fullfilling prophecy.  Depression is so isolating.  I hope that I never get to that dark place of despair and self loathing again.

I have the greatest respect for those out there that are able to share their stories with honesty and openness.

Dooce

Joy Unexpected

Bloggy things

All Consuming

I signed up this morning and am excited about it!  It works a lot like the typepad reading list, except that it keeps track of the status, page number and allows you to make comments about the books.  I added a reading list to my links (bottom right)

de.licio.us

Here is a handy tool for keeping track of sites you want to remember.  It allows you to assign tags to keep things organized.

kinja

I love this!  It has made my life so much easier...  Try it, you'll like it!!

blArds

I can't wait to do this.  I already signed up, but haven't made the cards yet.  Maybe I will get to it today during laundry.  I am going to start off with five.  Wanna trade?

Christmas

I love sending and receiving mail!  If you want to exchange Christmas cards, email me or leave a comment and I will get back to you.

The Visit

The girls only stayed with their mom for about an hour.  Since they aren't supposed to be around her, Mike sent them with Justin.  I am sure that the short visit was due to him not wanting to stick around any longer.  The girls were very upset when they came home.  It sounds like they had a good time, but they miss their mom.  They hadn't seen her for a long time, so it was pretty emotional for them.   

Mica tends to make up stories about her mom, pretending that things are different than they are.  She will talk about what a great mother her mom is and how we are keeping her from Julie.  In this little fantasy, she blames us for taking her from her mom and pretends that, if her mom had a choice, she would choose to have and take care of them.  This always backfires when Julie doesn't call or pick them up.  Then, Mica will end up crying and making up excuses for her. 

Last night, Mica was upset because she found out that her sister isn't living with her mom anymore.  She is living with the aunt. When she asked why, she didn't get a straight answer.  This was hard on her because she couldn't blame anyone else for it.  No one 'took' her sister away.  I'm sure it is for the best and the aunt probably takes better care of her.  But still, it was another example of Julie not taking care of her own kids and Mica was hurt. 

Even Mikal cried a little bit last night, and she never cries.  It is hard to say whether she was crying because she was really sad, or because Mica was getting so much attention by crying!  Mike was teasing her to try and cheer her up.  He said that he didn't think she was too sad and he thought she liked her life here with us.  She started laughing and threw her arms around him...

All in all, I think that the visit was a good one.  They got a chance to see their mom in a positive environment (they went to the aunt's house with extended family).  I'm glad Mike let them go.  Thanksgiving is all about family and being thankful for what you have.  Things could be so much worse.  Like I told the girls last night, there are kids whose parents have died.  They will never get a chance to hug them or talk to them.  At least the girls spent a little time with their mom.  And they have a whole future to look forward to.  People grow and change.  Maybe by this time next year, things will be different!

Thanksgiving

It is almost over and this was one of the best ones yet.  I didn't get a picture of the spread as everyone started nibbling before I was finished cooking.  The kids ate and played.  The girls (grown up ones!) ate and talked.  The men ate and watched football.  I feel content and VERY BLESSED right now. 

Echo wore himself out playing and eating.

For the past few days, Mica has been asking about her mom.  Why doesn't she call... the same old thing.  I think she might have lost her house because we haven't seen her there lately.  Mica says that Julie is staying at her grandma's house but she doesn't know why or for how long.  Mica gets bits and pieces of gossip from her cousin at school.  Enough to make her worry, but not enough to know what is going on. 

I hope that this doesn't become another problem.  Julie's mom lives in a low income senior apartment.  Five or six years ago, she was living in a similar place when Julie moved in with her.  She ended up losing the apartment.  I hope that Julie doesn't get her mom in trouble again...  But, none of my business.

This morning, Mica was on a mission to track down her mom.  All the numbers were disconnected.  She finally got the number of a neighbor in her grandma's complex and called to ask the woman to go get Julie.  They talked for a few minutes and Mica asked if they could go over for Thanksgiving.  Everyone knows that the girls aren't supposed to go with Julie right now.  But by asking for something that she knows he isn't supposed to do, Julie is trying to force Mike to be the bad guy.

Mike agreed to let them go over for a while if Justin took them and stayed there with them.  Sounds like a great compromise.  They will get to see her and we will know they are being supervised.  They just left a half hour ago.  I hope (CROSS YOUR FINGERS and say a prayer) that they have a great time with her and there are no conflicts.

Mica spent a couple hours picking fights, talking back and generally being hard to get along with after talking to her mom.  We had a little talk about her feelings and how she could deal with them.  I tried to make her understand that she should enjoy her time with us and not worry about her mom.  When she goes with her mom tonight, she should enjoy her time there and not worry about us.

She cried and cried.  She said that she was scared of going.  If she went and had a good time, she would miss her mom even more when she came home and that would make her sad.  If she went and it was bad, she would be disappointed and that would make her sad.  I hope that she is able to relax and have fun. 

Survivor is starting, so I am going to watch it with the family...

Another work in progress

Mike got part of his tattoo filled in yesterday. 

He is a big show off and was trying to act tough in front of the kids. 

And yes, he DOES wear white shirts every single day!!

As promised

Here are some pictures of the completed (well, almost) living room.  It looks a little bare, as we haven't hung curtains/pictures/mirrors. 

Someone sweep that floor!  Oh, wait.  That's my job...

Happy Thanksgiving!

We finished the living room just in time for the big day.  My sister and her family are coming by and Justin is bringing Michelle (fiance).  I just woke up and I'm alread behind!  We are making a huge turkey and two hams, with all the trimmings.  I'd better get this bird in the oven, or we won't be eating on time.  I hope you all have a fantastic Thanksgiving!

Johnny's CHICKEN

An oldie, but goodie

This is one of my favorite pictures!  It was 1997.  Bleu was just a few months old.  Our truck had broken down and we were stuck in a parking lot while Mike worked magic with a few tools and no money for parts.  He was so frustrated and tired.  Mia and Mica were hungry and bored.  Desperate for something to keep them occupied, I let them play with my polaroid ~ not thinking that they would figure it out.  I was giving Mike a hug when Mia took this picture of the three of us.  Good times...