Last night, I disappointed myself. I lost my temper ~ something that I don't do often. It wasn't like this time. Last night I cried and talked and pleaded for a little cooperation. I might have cursed, too but I don't remember. I didn't scream, but I definitely raisied my voice!! It had been a long day. I can't even remember the morning... Who knows? After school, I had to go and count money for the fundraiser orders. The president is sick (pneumonia and strep throat) so I have been on my own most of the week. Getting five cranky kids to sit still in a little office while you count money and do paperwork is no easy task. Butterfly wanted to get home. I fixed the karaoke machine (finally!) and she wanted to sing. The principal came in to check on us and Butterfly threw a piece of her cereal (snack to keep them busy) on the floor. The principal told her that if she threw anything on the floor, she would have to pick it up. Butterfly reached into the bag, grabbed a handful of cereal and threw it AT THE PRINCIPAL. I was horrified. She knows better than that. The kids NEVER act like that! She went in time out right away and I apologized.
From there, we had just a few minutes before having to pick up the rest of the kids. I stopped at Sonic and got the kids each a slush. [side note: I love that Sonic has two for one drinks every afternoon!] I also got a grilled cheese sandwich for the four big kids that just got out of school. Already, that was $12. But instead of being thankful (how many times did my mom buy me a slush after school? NEVER) they started compaining about not getting a kids meal with a prize. Wah, wah, wah.
I picked up Mica and started to drive to get Mia. Nothing but complaining from the back. Mica and Butterfly pulled the covering from the ceiling down, poking big holes and tearing off fabric. Mikal was whining about having to drive around. We got Mia and had to go straight to her game alll the way across town. She had to be there early, so I stayed outside with the kids so that they could play while we waited. From the moment we got there until we got home, they bickered with each other and complained to me about how terrible their lives were. By the time we got home, I was fuming.
We sat down in the living room for a family meeting and I lectured them for twenty minutes. Mia and Mikal both started crying. Mica started glaring. Butterfly had already fallen asleep, but Johnny listened intently, nodding his head in agreement. Bleu had to leave and go to the bathroom. Lucky boy missed out!
I hate being upset with the kids, but I get so frustrated. I feel like I am the only one who does anything around the house. I never get a moment to myself. Even typing this post, I have had to stop at least five times. How am I supposed to keep my train of thought?
This morning, I finally got Butterfly and John to lay down quietly and watch tv. Echo was sleeping in his crib, so I got in the shower. THE SHOWER! A moment to myself. Clean hair for the first time in three days. Shaving! Oh, no. Wait. I didn't get to shave, because the phone rang. Mike ran out of gas and needed me to come right away. I got out of the shower, dressed, loaded the kids and drove to where he was. He jumped in and I gave him a ride to the gas station ~ a whole block and a half from where he was. A BLOCK AND A HALF. I just about lost it. Poor Mike. He thought that it would be nice to hang out for a bit, and he was trying so hard to be sweet. But I feel so overwhelmed by everything right now. As soon as I pulled away from his truck, I started sobbing.
We pulled up at the house and saw a helicpoter in the playground of the school. They must be having something special today. Normally, I would have taken the kids next door to check it out. The school is so great about including the families. But not today. Today, I will be lucky if I make it through without another breakdown.