I took the little ones for a quick trip to White Sands yesterday. [see pics here] My house is dirty and the laundry is threatening to overtake the kitchen, but it was SO worth it to get out of the house for a while.
Still no meeting with Julie. She has been calling Mike all week, but it is obvious that her main interest is in the money ~ not the kids. Mike said she hasn't asked about them once. She wants to move on Saturday, so one way or another this thing will get resolved.
"To know someone here or there with whom you can feel there is
understanding in spite of distances or thoughts expressed. That can
make life a garden." Goethe [via Cathy]
And on to the updates. Thank you for asking, by the way.
Yes, I did complain to the city. I spoke with the officer and he suggested I move to the county. That's what HE did. Gee, thanks. I feel a lot better now.
Mike cancelled the meeting with his ex. Everything is up in the air. But at least Mica has a couseling appointment today, so that might help her a little bit.
I picked up a package at the bus station this morning. It was Butterfly's birthday present from my mom. She had included a big file, marked KRISTY PERSONAL. Inside were almost all of my report cards, along with a bunch of misc awards, letters, etc. I can't stop crying, so I am taking a time out to post this. After I have a little time to think about what I am feeling, I may post more about it.
On Friday, Mike received a letter from Julie. It was a page and a half long typed note explaining why she wasn't a better parent. She agreed that the girls were better off with us and said that she was not going to court to fight for them. In fact, she plans to move to Phoenix to start over. Do I hear a but... coming? Yes. She needs money from Mike to do it. Eight hundred dollars to be exact. And can we please think of a way to tell the girls so they don't feel like she is deserting them?
Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I think it takes a very strong woman to admit when she can't take care of her kids. If she uses this opportunity to get her life together and become a better parent, then I have all the respect in the world for her. However, I have a few problems with the set up.
First, the money. I don't care about giving her the money. Easy come, easy go. Or hard come, easy go... but it is just money. We would have to use our house payment to pay her. That would make things really hard on us, but we would get through it. I just don't want the girls to think that we paid her to leave. Or that she is leaving because we gave her money. If things don't work out in Phoenix, I don't want her to come back in two months and tell the girls that we were trying to get rid of her. This was her idea. Plus, Julie will do or say just about anything for money. The fact that her letter says 'This is not a trick or a ploy' says it all. We have all seen her tricks before.
Second, I don't like the fact that she expects us to explain this to the girls. Mike told her that we absolutely would not help her unless she talked to the girls herself. The three of us (me, Mike, Julie) were supposed to talk to Mica and Mikal at the park yesterday. She called and cancelled, asking if we could please meet her at 7:45 at Chuck E. Cheese's today. Mike told her ok, but I am not happy about it. Today is BUTTERFLY'S BIRTHDAY. I guess I get to rearrange her birthday party to be at Chuck E Cheese's.
When I thought we were going to the park, I told the other kids to play on the equipment and to stay away from the meeting. I don't want all the little ones standing around, listening to the conversation. Last night, Mikal talked to her mom and then came in and told me how nice her mom was being. "I can't believe it," she said. "I told my mom you told the other kids to leave us alone to talk and she said no. She said all of our kids can sit by her. She is going to be really nice at the birthday party and buy Butterfly a present. I can't believe she is acting so NICE!"
So, now I get to deal with Julie instead of enjoying my daughter's birthday party. I hope she doesn't make a scene, because THAT WOULD BE VERY BAD.